I received a message from a dear friend and it so greatly represents all that Jeremy and I were for each other.  I don’t know how he expects me to move on in this life without him!?  I don’t understand why this road has to be traveled?   I dont understand so many things. I know that in his heartbeat I was there, I know he is still here with me. I know it through the random times that things occur like “Wanted” playing this morning on a Pandora station I listen to for days and hours with repeat songs none of them being our song but this morning as I get ready to face a difficult day, It comes on, today that wouldve marked thirteen months together.  Some days I just want to be filled with silence and others I wish that I could lose myself in the noises of a large city. I pretend, I accept, I deny all in the name of a broken heart but no matter what I do…… The bold lettered tattoo of truth stares me in the face and I just don’t know how to deal with it yet.  You don’t have to know what I’ve been through, you dont have to fix it, like it, offer to help or avoid me. You dont have to do anything because there simply is nothing anyone can do. It is another road I must travel on in this crazy, insane, messy, beautiful, sometimes unkind journey of life.  I guess I just wanted to show a glimpse of my story as seen through the lense of another. And so here it is…….

I wish you would have met him sooner.
When we first met, I wouldn’t say we were close (although I trusted you with my most prizes possession). At times  I knew you were most certainly NOT happy but I wasn’t sure why. Then you got away from Chad and things clicked into place. THEN you met Jeremy and I think I fell in love (NOT like that😱😁) with you a bit too. After you met him I noticed there was a light in your eye that I never noticed was missing. You began laughing often! It was a completely foreign sound, a laugh that came from your soul. It didn’t take long to realize that Jeremy put it there. I think that’s one of my favorite things about you. Your laugh Now.