I was asked to hold this paper clip for another person.  It wasn’t much to hold, its weight was a fraction of an ounce. It was light and I hardly noticed it in my hand, I placed it into my pocket and truly forgot it was there.  Some time passed and two paper clips of my own were needing to be held so I placed those in my pocket. Still so small and insignificant I didn’t feel the weight of them as I carried them around.  Days and weeks went by and a friend needed safe keeping for a precious stone.  It was small in size maybe the size of a quarter so I obliged and into my pocket this stone went.  Time continued moving forward and unless my fingers brushed over them I didn’t really notice the paper clips and the stone.  As it does, time continued on and I added my own stones and paperclips as well as more of others.  Eventually those lightweight items began to weigh me down. They pulled at my pockets and shifted my hips.  I began to notice them daily.  They chaffed and rubbed and became uncomfortable to carry.  Somehow in time they had interlinked and I was no longer aware of which clips and stones were mine and which belonged to others.

As time moved forward I was unable to remove those things from my pockets.  It was as though they had become permanently attached.  So I just trudged forward and eventually they became seemingly unnoticed once again.  My steps weren’t as light as they had once been and I could feel the pull from the weight on my pockets, but I just stood as strong as I could and ignored that my walk was now heavier.  I carried on this way for many years.  There were times I would have to pick up a golf ball or Lego man and have no place else to place them but within the pocket with all of the paper clips and stones.

Two years ago I stumbled, Correction I fell face first into a boulder it was so large that I was certain I would be crushed by it.  It stopped me for a moment and I had to collect myself but somehow, even though the boulder outweighed me by three tons, I picked it up and placed it in my pocket with all those paper clips, stones, golf balls and Lego men.  My stride was no longer such.  I was hunched and I was visibly hurting however, I continued on.  I began to feel a little like Quasimodo (The hunchback of Notre Dame)  so I secluded myself away from those who loved me and cared about me.  I made plans and I broke them.  I became comfortable within my own walls were I didn’t have to face others or make excuses.  I created and picked up more clips and a few golf balls.  I began to become immobile, Everything became overwhelming and daunting.

And then out of nowhere a feather landed atop my head and I collapsed beneath the weight of it all.  The years of paper clips and stones, golf balls and Lego men were covering me. I couldn’t breath. I lay beneath the weight of the boulder my breaths were stifled and short. I was dying.  I had slowly broken my own will to live and carry on.  I had internalized everything and I hadn’t allowed anyone to help even when they asked.  Those paper clips were the burdens of others.  The stones deep dark secrets that I carried so they didn’t have to.  The golf balls were those of guilt and the Lego men feelings of failure.  The boulders were huge life events that I had no control over life, divorces, and deaths.  And I carried on smiling and drudging because I didn’t know what else to do.  I didn’t know how to let go.  In the beginning it was because they seemed small.  As I picked up or held onto more things those small ones permanently attached themselves to my thoughts and muscles. They became a part of who I was…….at least this is what I was choosing to believe.

Until a moment came , a moment where I realized that I no longer had to carry any of it.  It was not only okay to let it go, it was what I should have done all along.  I was never meant to carry any of it.  We are not created to carry anything more than our own weight.  We are not supposed to pick up and lug through all of our life our fears, guilt’s, failures, and worries.  We are suppose to face them, glean from them, learn from them, and then let them go.  It is only then that we can move forward.   I have realized that not only can I not, I do not want to sit stagnant in this life and I certainly DO NOT want to die beneath the weight of my burdens and guilt’s because I was too stubborn or scared to let them go.

Today I encourage you to do just that.  Let it go, let go of all that you have been carrying.  Just lay it down and DO NOT pick it up again.  Leave it there on the ground and step over it.  The things that need to be with you will come: The love, the memories, and the lessons. These three, they are all you need and they do not weigh you down. To the contrary they lift you up and leave you feeling weightless.