The information swarmed inside my head like an angered bee hive. My vision clouded, The hallway was blurry and sideways. I walked with intense effort telling myself to just keep moving. I found the wall and slid down it until I passed through the ICU entrance doors. The stairwell was less than fifty steps in front of me. With great effort I made it to the stairs. I passed through the doors and with everything in a complete haze I made my way down the stairs. The ICU was on the 5th floor the closest outside entrance was on the third. I managed five flights of stairs, I wasn’t breathing, I needed air, just make it outside I kept telling myself. Finally I could see the door leading outside, fresh air that is what I need. I was trembling, everything around me sounded like a bad connection on a cell phone. I found my way through the doors and to an area to sit down. I noticed there were people coming and going. Completely unaware that my life, my world was ending. My hand trembled as I reached for my phone I dialed, the phone connected. Hello came through the other end. I hyperventilated, gasping, crying, The other end of the phone was a soothing, voice saying, “calm down, I cant make out anything, I am so sorry, tell me what is happening”  These words continued over and over for the nearly five minutes I hyper ventilated.  I managed to spit out “They are going to let him die” The voice on the other end of the phone Solemn, strong and caring. Said “Oh sweetie, I am so sorry”.

The world never noticed the ghost of a woman slinking the halls, shattered. I composed myself and made my way back into the hospital, back up the stairs and through the doors of the ICU, Down the long corridor to his room. I climbed up next to him and I sobbed, I listened to his heart, held his hand and told him how much I needed him. I told him that he couldn’t die. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I told him I loved him. I breathed in the smell of his skin and traced my fingers over his tattoos. I told him I wouldn’t say goodbye.

He died just four hours later surrounded by his family. A piece of me died that day as well.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/kvnews/obituary.aspx?n=jeremy-forgey&pid=174264783