Day 6
I awoke to the sounds of automatic doors and clanging carts. I was momentarily disoriented. I quickly realized I was still in the ICU waiting room. I found my glasses and put on my shoes. I was dizzy as I stood. I felt sick but I walked down to see how his procedure had gone.
When I arrived to his room he was sleeping. I was updated to the fact that he had not had the procedure. I felt irritation boiling up from my insides. I sat by his side holding his very cold hand and fell asleep. I slept like that  nearly 45 minutes until the crick in my neck and ache in my legs screamed ENOUGH.
I phoned his mother to update her that nothing had been done and they weren’t sure when they would begin the procedure. It became a long day of wait and worry.
After the scope was completed, they updated that he was still actively bleeding from his gastrointestinal tract. They wanted to do another procedure to attempt to “tie off” the areas that were bleeding. It was another explorative option. There was no question that we would want the procedure but the energy amongst us all was that which uncertainty brings. We were afraid.

The procedure took nearly four hours. They placed twelve coils on his bleeding varicees. They were hopeful this was the “fix” to the bleeding. We gave each other “high fives” and we felt a slight bit of relief……
His cousin and I stayed in his room. We wanted to be there when the sedation wore off and he woke up. By 3:00a.m. He was still very sedated and I decided to try and get some rest. I slept for about two hours and tried to fall back to sleep for another two hours before I decided to give up the fight and get up.

Day 7:
He was still very sedated and very non responsive. With great effort I could get him to turn his head or flutter his eyes but that was about all. He had been off pain meds and sedation since 2:00a.m. But wasn’t waking. We were becoming worried.
Throughout the day his kidney function began to fail and his liver enzymes climbed. He stayed non responsive but for extensive effort by the nursing staff. The staff explained that because of everything he had been through the last few days it wasn’t uncommon for him to be so sleepy.
His kidneys had taken a hit and he was retaining fluid. He was holding about a 100 pounds of fluid.

They continued to supply him with blood products to keep his hematocrit at a stable level. They performed an ultrasound on his liver to see how the procedure they had done the night before was functioning. It took a little over an hour and we wouldn’t have results for several hours.

It’s amazing how quickly the hours have passed by considering we aren’t doing anything. My days blend together and I have to think hard to be aware of which day it is.

The day continued on and he remained asleep and non responsive. There wasn’t much change. With encouragement I went to dinner with his sister and aunts. It was good company and a delicious meal. After dinner we returned to the hospital. I went back briefly to say goodbye and tell him I was heading home to let Zoe out and take a shower.

I became aware of how exhausted I was once I was driving. I drove home in a foggy haze struggling to stay awake. My intention was to let Zoe out, shower and head back to the hospital. Once I was home I thought taking a short nap might be a good idea.

I messaged his cousin to check on his status and let her know I was going to catch a few ZZZZZ’s. She messaged back that he was fine and I should get some rest. I turned Pandora on and the second song to play was Hunter Hayes “wanted” which happens to be our song. I cried and drifted into a heavy and restful sleep.